According to exercise enthusiasts, working out is the way to be, beautiful, sexy, smarter, tougher, more perfect and produce endorphins that give you an amazing high. Ba Humbug. Exercise is just that, exercise. Okay, depending on what you do, it can make you tougher and stronger, and in general promote health, but like everything else there are myths. These are my faves. Keep in mind, I’m a trainer and I do actually know what I’m talking about here.
1. If you exercise, you can eat anything you want.
No. If you exercise for half an hour, you’re probably burning 130-300 calories, depending on the workout, how much you weigh now (the less you weight, the fewer the calories burned) and how hard you push yourself. That’s a Coke and a smallish candy bar. Which are not good for you, anyway.
2. You can exercise by strength training/cardio alone.
Again…no. You need both. Not on the same day, but there should be four elements to your routine over a week’s time, not a day’s time. To maintain a healthy weight, you need;
2. Jumping Jacks are passe: Plyometrics: one day, preferably two for ten – fifteen minutes, a week. Jumping rope, jumping jacks, jumping up and down on a short-ish step, jumping around dancing. By the jumping around dancing, I mean feet off the ground, bopping to music, not slow dancing. If jumping is hard for you, or like me, I shake the whole house living in a double-wide. I don’t even want to talk about when I was 320, then just jump a little to start.
4. You don’t need aerobics. You will just lose strength, become more efficient and the weight will be harder to get off.
Aerobics: 3 times a week to maintain weight for half an hour and 5x a week to lose it, for…an hour. I don’t mean if you’re just starting out. Ten minutes is enough and move up from there. Reading a book will slow you up. You won’t work as hard. Watching YouTube might too, but I do it. I also dictate story ideas into my phone, or computer. You should be able to talk while you workout, but not sing. It’s always going to be something. My legs are wobbly and don’t want to do it, my lungs aren’t as fast as my legs. Some days it all come together and I love that. Ride a bike, run, walk, elliptical (one of my favorites, wish I had one), anything that makes you breathe hard. This is about your heart, as well as making your body more efficient. You want an efficient body. Trust me. Fat sits there. Muscle burns calories.
4. A woman should never lift more than three pounds. That’s what Gwenith Paltrow’s trainer said.
Boo!!! Yes, Gwyneth is using this method. She also works out two hours a day, six days a week and has a home gym and trainer. Do you? Good ole, strength training: Once a week. At the bare minimum, in one day, you want to work tp to, 50 push-ups (one at a time. Don’t start out with fifty a day), 100 crunches, mixing the lower and upper body. Use my abs workout, 50 lunges and 50 squats. Use your own body weight to start. After a while buy some five pound dumbbells and work up. You’re either building muscle, or not. Stassis. You want your body to build, or you’re going backwards. Using light weights is not going to give you a lean look. Heavier weights just build more closely packed muscle tissue. That’s what you want. Unless you are on HGH, or Steroids, or dieting all your fat off, you will not be so muscular. Women are built to carry more fat, not tons more, but more. Your periods should not stop, unless you are going through menopause.
Strength training, along with the plymetrics will keep your bones firm. Strong bones will lead to a strong body that bends and not breaks in your old age. You don’t want to die by falling down and not being able to get up.
5. I don’t need to bend over, except to clean the toilet. There is no need for flexibility.
Flexibility training can build and keep a strong core, helping you with balance and keeping you from falling as you age. I combine my strength and flexibility with my Power Yoga in two forms. I also do the above mentioned exercises. I have buff arms and working on my pecs with pushups has made the girls pull up a little. They’re never going to be the same, but they aren’t as pathetic and actually look decent without a bra on. Boobs are made of fat, so if you lose fat…I have no issues with women getting implants. I would, but my face needs it more.
Is this every myth about weight loss? Good Lord no! Diet pills Don’t work. A diet rich in meat works, but only if you skip white bread and you should be doing that anyway (cuppie cakes and sweets are right out, birthday cake does not count). If you want a diet (that’s a four letter word) to help you along, I love the South Beach Diet. It’s a sensible approach to weight-loss that includes complex carbs and you telling the waitron unit (I used to be one, we called ourselves that) that you would like to skip the bread bowl (unless there is a whole wheat option). Alcohol can make an evening more relaxed, but empty calories abound. Stick to one, or two drinks and I say, bring back the Wine Spritzer. I can drink two of those in an evening. Alternate booze drinks with water and down some Gatorade, or other sports drink before you get home. Pee like a racehorse, then take two headache pills and go to sleep. Being overhung comes from not being hydrated enough. Alcoholic drinks seem to yank the hydration from your body. Keep it light, low cal, and energy filled. Party people who puke on themselves are not fun people. Okay, maybe the first drink, or two, but when you sacrifice you evening to holding back your girlfriend’s hair for hours, it’s not funny anymore.
Do something for you, every single day. Just a little something. Want chocolate? Haagen Daz now comes in itty-bitty one serving containers. Eat half of it. Seriously. Clair’s has funky and fun jewelry and there is no age when you can’t have fun jewelry. Just go forth and do anything, but drink a Starbucks Ginormo Drink. 600 calories. OUCH!!! (Okay, some things are worth it).
